Realizations

I've had several realizations over the last few days that I know are going to be helpful over the next year---and beyond. 

Realization #1: When you say it... mean it... AND stick to it! Along with this, be consistent! Lately, there has been an issue with running in the halls, jumping  down the stairs, and taking 2-3 steps at a time when on the stairs. When I see it, the student is pulled out of line, and told to go back to the beginning of the stairs/hallway... and this time... do it properly. Yesterday I had a girl jump down the steps... and after she had done that over, ran down the hallway (again, I told her to start over). They don't seem to be nearly as angry about having to start over as they do about my policy that they lose their place in line and go to the back. If we are going to lunch, and another class is behind us.... they have to wait and go at the end that line also. The interesting part, is that they're doing it, and turning around to see if I am watching (much to their chagrin... I am). I may not be very popular... but I'm proving my consistency... and they know what the expectation is. 

Realization #2: I'm supposed to be viewed as a teacher, but I'm not allowed to make decisions, announcements or corrections without getting permission first. This has been drastically affecting my level of respect from the students. I was told be the teacher that I am to let one child "just do whatever he's going to do." I don't believe in creating an environment where students see that some kids get preferential treatment and are allowed to get away with things that others are not. By encouraging me to basically ignore a certain students behavior, the other students begin to feel that I'm favoring the rowdy student. I refuse to encourage this mindset! I also refuse to allow certain genders, colors, religions, etc to be given special treatment based strictly on these criteria. Each student comes with their own background, experiences, issues, beliefs and problems. Each student needs to be viewed based on these individual situations and not overall cultural influences. I will NOT treat a minority student any differently than any other student strictly because of their minority status!!!

Realization #3: I am ridiculously alone in this process. I have no support from my cohort leaders, cohort members, administration, department leaders or classroom teacher. I  know it sounds harsh... but it's really true. I have been told repeatedly by Mrs Z that she never wanted a student teacher. Not only have I heard this from her... but from the other 3rd grade teachers. She continues to tell the students that I "won't always be in here"... and that they shouldn't get used to having me around. I can't talk to my teacher about this... for obvious reasons. I feel like as aide or a parent volunteer in the classroom... not a teacher. I don't feel like she appreciates my being there every day... or even cares if I show up or not. There's a saying among teachers... and teacher "manuals" that state that "No teacher is an island". Well, I'm pretty sure this is as close as I can get. I may not be an island.... but at the very least, I'm a ship without a map.