New Developments

Hi everyone,

As you all know, I have spent the past 5 months in a graduate teacher education program here in Portland, with the goal being to achieve my Masters and teaching credentials this next summer. I have had the opportunity to talk with some of you about my experiences, but with my schedule being as hectic as it has been, I haven't been able to talk to nearly as many of you as I would have liked. Perhaps, if I had kept you all up-to-speed with what has been happening, this would not be coming across as such a big shock to many of you.

Back in September, I was placed in a school in Portland for field experience toward my degree. On the first day of my experience, I received a very un-welcome welcoming from the school principal (she "never wanted" me, was "forced" to take me, and saw me as an "inconvenience")... but I chose to attribute it to stress, and not place much emphasis on it. Over the next few months, I met with instructors, back on campus, to clarify assignments, advisors to discuss requirements, and classmates to support one another through this program. In the end of November, I received an email request for a meeting with my elementary school principal, vice principal, graduate director, advisor and supervisor (I know.. right... can we say intimidation). This concerned me because I had not seen/spoken to the principal since that first day of school... so I had no idea what she would have to say. The principal proceeds to tell me that I'm disrespectful, unprofessional, have an intimidating body language and demeanor. Considering this is a performance review, I take what she says and vow to work on it. She then continues to say that because I am a "Mormon", I must have "been raised and grown up in a very un-culturally diverse area" and that because of her knowledge of "mormon history", she would assume I am "biased towards people of color", and must be finding it difficult to "work with children of color."

Well, long story short, I was given the choice to move to another elementary school or stay where I was. I chose to change (primarily because of the obvious racial/religious prejudice) and I was told that I would be notified when the new placement had been secured. In the meantime, I was told to come up with concrete ways that I could work on my lack of respect, professionalism, communication skills, and "cultural competence". I compiled my "Plan of Action," emailed it to my director, advisor and supervisor.... and a meeting was set them in motion. Following a 45 minute meeting to discuss improvements that I need to make while in the program, I was told that they were unable to locate me a placement, and that I will be unable to progress into the next course in the program: Student Teaching 1. With this being the case, I was given 2 choices.... take a leave of absence for up to a year, or leave the program all together. As you can see, those were not exactly choices.... but they were all I was offered. After much thought, I have decided that taking the leave of absence, and returning to the same views/biases/prejudices would not benefit me at all... so I have chosen to withdraw from the program.

I realize that this version is incredibly condensed, and I'm sorry. I have had numerous meetings and emails in addition to this skeleton of events that have proven to me that their goal was to get rid of the "squeaky" wheel; with the two options I was left with, it was obvious that they simply wanted me gone. Following these meetings, I have spoken with campus legal counsel, mediations and the Vice Provost of Graduate Studies, and have become shocked to learn that I am not the first person to be unjustifiably "urged out" of the program for requesting clarifying information or for advocating for myself. Also, throughout my time in the program, I have heard nothing but negative viewpoints from within educational circles regarding the PSU program, and I strongly feel that this is not where I am meant to be.

So, what does this mean? Basically, I will no longer be a university student (therefore unable to live in campus housing), and will be moving out of Portland. Since my end goal is to teach/live in Utah, I'm going to be moving to Utah County within the next few days, where I'm currently applying for positions to teach in private schools. Depending on how quickly this goes, I will also be applying for a licensure program to do while I'm working. Once I'm steadily in a teaching position, I'll then go back and work, again, on my Masters. For those of you unfamiliar with educational salaries, I will not lose the 30 credits that I have earned over the last 5 months, although they will not go toward a Masters in another program; I will simply be paid based on the number of credits that I have earned (Bachelors + 30 credits).

Over the last week or so, I have found myself running through the emotional checklist (disappointment, anger, fear, etc), and have finally settled into a comfort of the situation. I have realized that there is nothing that I could have done differently to change this outcome, or that I should have done to endure the prejudice that was so obviously a foundation in their view of me. I still find myself disappointed in the outcome, and even more so, struggling with the idea that I have let so many of my friends and family down. However, I have also accepted that I was merely the recipient of a giant avalanche that was intended to push me out of the way... and that they finally worked out the "legal" way to make it happen.

I want to thank you all again for your support through this very difficult, yet necessary, decision in my life... as well as the obvious upheaval that will be occurring over the next few months. I hope to be able to spend some time with my Portland friends before I leave, but as you can imagine, my time schedule has been drastically cut short. Also, for those friends in the Antioch area, I wanted to sent this email out, because it is very likely (with my abrupt schedule) that I will be unable to make it home for Christmas this year. I want to thank you all for the support, love and prayers that you have given to me over the last few years. I hope that I will be able to talk with each of you a bit more in person... but if that doesn't happen soon, please know how much you mean to me... and I will be more than happy to talk with you all by email. I also promise to keep you all informed with any new steps in this process.

All my love and friendship,

Jenn Golden
jenniferkgolden@yahoo.com

Wouldn't it be Great?!?!

Joy To Everyone

I found this link on a friend's site... and just had to share it. This is the most beautiful video I've seen in a long time, and with all the prejudice I'm dealing with in school, it was nice to get a reality check in the midst of all the hate. 

http://www.joytoeveryone.com/download.htm