Turning 30...

I have so many thoughts about turning 30. Since I (obviously) knew it was coming... I’ve looked at what this “new decade” can offer.

First, let me clear one thing up... I DO NOT consider 30 being “old”. The majority of my friends are in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. If I start thinking that 30 is old, then I’m going to get my butt kicked. With this fact, I’m never allowed to think that any age I am is old! So enough of the ‘O” word! Now that I’ve got that out of the way.... let me share what I’ve been thinking a lot about.

I think of turning 30 as a fresh slate. During my 20’s, I made some really stupid choices, and just kinda “went along” with things. I let life just kind of... happen. Don’t get me wrong, some really good things happened during my 20’s.... but I feel like I didn’t make conscious decisions that led to those things. I kind of feel like i was “reactive”... and now I’m determined to be “proactive”. I am going into my 4th decade of life with a very goal oriented mindset. I have things that I am shooting for... and things that I will not settle for less than.

One of the things that I think about are moving around. Yes, I’m glad I moved around... but I didn’t really go with goals in mind. I moved to Utah to get out of Antioch, and for a change. I moved to LA to go to school, but hadn’t made those goals strong enough to push me into accomplishing them. I moved to Oregon... because of lack of alternatives. Looking back now, I realize that I wouldn’t give up any of those moves for anything. Each move taught me something valuable about myself, and about life. In Utah, I learned to live away from Antioch... and discovered that I would survive. I also learned to rely on myself to get what I wanted. If I wanted something, I needed to figure out how to get it (minus the car), or I had to learn how to ask for help if it’s not something I could do alone. In Los Angeles, I discovered what it was like to live around people who don’t have the same values as I do. I also learned that my personal testimony was not as strong as I thought it was... and that I was very susceptible to temptation when I am away from my support network. Since I’ve been in Oregon I have learned so many things about myself. I have learned that I need to continually work on my testimony or it can dissolve rapidly. I have learned that I can create a life away from my support system and that I can succeed on my own merit and not because of who I know. I wouldn’t give up any of my experiences for anything... but I have definitely learned things, and from mistakes that I have no intention of reliving.

My other big thoughts have been connected with being in school. I graduated from high school 12 years ago. In addition to working as a Program Director in a gym, being a full time nanny (3 times), processing mortgage payments, scheduling/accounting for a youth Tennis camp, and being a health care aide... I have endured about 11 years (on and off) of college... and I’M STILL AT IT! Not only am I still at it... but I’m determined to see it to completion. You realize... that if you include preschool, I have been in a classroom for almost 28 years... AND... I’m in school to be a teacher no less. And... I’m not bitter. In fact, I love it. I love the challenge that being in school presents, and I love the constant learning. I love figuring new things out, and learning the answers to new questions. I enjoy seeing things from a different perspective and hearing about the other perspectives out there... and learning that there’s not just one “correct” view.

As for turning 30... there’s only one thing that I can say about it....


The view from up here is FANTASTIC!!!