Ok... so, a little background on what this title is all about. NO, I have not blossomed into the dating scene (sad faces... begone!). This weeks "NEW" has nothing to do with jumping on the bandwagon of "how many dates can I go on in a week".... in fact, it's actually something kinda cool! I went on a date.... with someone I don't know that well... but really want to get to know... ME!
After running some thoughts through the Work earlier in the week, I came to see a startling fact about myself... that I don't like spending time by myself. Many reasons came out as to the reasons, but the common link was that I don't like myself. Scary, huh!!! Considering that I'll be with myself until the VERY end... I better learn to like being with myself... dont'cha think?!?!
Well, Friday night, I was hanging out at my house.... deciding what my Saturday was going to look like. I decided that I would spend Saturday with myself... just me. I called my friend, and she asked what I was going to do on "Jenn Day".... and I told her that I would just be hanging out, doing laundry, cleaning, blogging... ya know... catching up on life a bit. Now... I can imagine your expression is similar to what I sensed hers was when I said that.... the "are you kidding me... THAT's what you're doing for a Jenn Day?!?!?" So... after a little "re-clarification" of what time-with-myself really needed to be all about.... and the most AMAZING conversation (done entirely in 3rd person!!!), I had an idea of what I wanted my Saturday to look like. Through this 3rd person conversation, I was asked what Jenn likes to do.. and that, perhaps I should "treat" Jenn to a day of things that "she" would enjoy doing. After some thinking... I realized that Jenn loves to read, write, journal, find little hide-a-ways, go on car trips, eat Arctic Circle fries, and drink Iced Cafe Mochas!!! So... hello Saturday!
After waking up to NO alarm... and realizing that "Jenn likes to sleep"... I let "her" get some more of it!!! :-) After an Arctic Circle run, a Coffee Creations stop, and a shopping trip to Borders (for a new journal)... I hit the road and headed up the canyon. Now, I've never been up Provo Canyon... but I figured, heck.... why not!?!?! Having never been up there, I just kinda went wherever I felt like.... random turns, little dirt roads, and LOTS of U-turns (when I realized there were still roads closed due to snow!) Finally, I found this little park that went up into this little neighborhood... and just beyond the houses, there was a little pull-off spot that was PERFECT! At first, I drove in... but had a thought, and quickly backed in instead.
After laying the seats down in the backseat, opening the hatch, and creating a great little "nook" for me to cozy up in... my date began. At first, I just sat and listened.... listened to the running creek, listened to the birds, listened to the breeze, listened to my thoughts, listened to my heart. Then I started writing.... writing down the things that Jenn likes. I took some great advice, and just let Jenn talk.... and I didn't judge! Anything "she" was willing to share, I listened to. Whatever she felt was most important to tell me about... I acknowledged. The things that she felt special to tell me about what she liked... I wrote down. This list comprised of everything from sunglasses and fuzzy socks to blue skies and kissing. It was so beautiful!!!! The scenery, the "company"... just being with Jenn. No judgement, no time frames, no worries, no ego!!!!!! My only contact with the "outside" world was through the occasional chat on my phone... and even that was nothing but support, love, encouragement, and adoration... which made my day even more beautiful!!! After a few hours, it started to get chilly, but I wasn't willing to give up the unobstructed view of nature.... so, I simply turned on the car, cranked the heater and left the hatch up!!! Eventually, I realized that my "date" was coming to an end... and I was in such a attitude of gratitude over how it had gone... I was okay with it ending - knowing that it would happen again soon!
The rest of the evening went just as well as the afternoon had. Back to my BFF's house... relaxing, naps, fun movies, laughing, sharing about my "date" and my discoveries about Jenn.... don't know how on earth it could have gone better.
The next morning, I found myself actually craving time with Jenn again... and looking forward to the next time. I can't say that I love Jenn yet... or that I see what makes her unique/special.... BUT, I can say that I am beginning to see what others see in her, and it's making me want to know more about her. Hopefully, I'm on the right path to learning to love her (and eventually, being able to replace the word "her" with "myself"!!!!!)
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